Secrets Told

I was laying under our tree in our clearing, I had told Jase I would meet him here rather than in the car park, I told him I had to tell him something.

“Hello you” Jase said as he walked through the shrubs and small trees to our nicely hidden clearing.

“Hello lover,” I replied, “come and sit with me a bit.”

“Are you alright?” He asked after kissing me as he sat.

“I am now, yesterday was not so good.”

“Oh. Tell me.”

I gave him the broad outline of what had happened, pretty much line by line, I don’t think I missed anything. It was less painful to tell than I thought it would be.

“Oh my God.” Then he was quiet. “And you are okay today just a bit sore? And is your mum going to stop taking the tablets?”

“Yes, I’m okay just sore, dunno about mum.”

“I guess we need to be more careful. That sounds like a lucky escape.”

“I have thought about it, and really don’t think that they would have done anything to hurt me, not on their doorstep, not when so many people would have seen us together on the bus, no I think they are just weirdos.”

“I think we need to have a think about the whole thing.”

“Yes. I am seemingly incapable of saying no when sex becomes an option. It is not that I think about it all the time, I don’t, I just don’t seem able to say no.”

“I am the same. Dad, mum, Mrs Jalowski, none of these are people I should be fucking.”

“Agreed.” Well, yes, but I still wanted to shag my dad.

“But,” I said, “I do like shagging my dad.”

“Oh.”

“Yes. And I enjoyed your mum. Your dad, not so much so.”

“Well, you only did him that once.”

“Actually no, sorry, he came round to my house the day after and I sucked him and sent him home to shag your mum.”

“Oh. You didn’t say.”

“No. There are a few other people I didn’t tell you about either.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, look, there are Sandra and Pete from next door, Brian from the other next door, Jamie McAlister I did tell you about, my friends, Ash, Bren and Sarah.” I decided to stop there, that would be enough.

“Why didn’t you mention any of them?”

“Because I never intended to have sex with any of them, it just happened, unplanned.”

“And you think this is all because of the tablet your mum is on?”

“Yes, I have a theory that it has more affect on me because we have two women in our house, the pheromones sort of get maxed up. You only have one woman in yours.”

“You’re not on the tablets though?”

“No, but mum and I already were affected by each others pheromones, our periods synched quite soon after mine started, and we always seem to be in the same mood, be it good or bad.”

“Yes, you could be right, but I am pissed that you didn’t tell me.”

“I know, and I am sorry.”

“I think I am going to go home and have a think.”

“Oh.” So it seems I have fucked things up with my boyfriend.

Jase got up and headed off back through the shrubbery, I sat there unsure what to think. I knew I should be more emotional about it, but it was just like the sex, it just happened and I seemed incapable of doing anything about it.

I got up and slowly walked home, luckily when I got home there was no one in and I just slumped on the settee, not really thinking, just slumping. Probably a shit day, but I seemed unable to come to that conclusion.

A couple of hours later, the door knocked, it was Jase’s mum. “Come on Natalie, get in the car with me, I need to talk to you.”

I had nothing else to do, no college work, not that I gave a hoot about college at the moment, so I just shrugged, locked the door behind me and got into her car. She didn’t say anything, she just drove up into the countryside and parked up on a verge near a farmers gate.

“Let’s get in the back, the windows are dark there, no one can see in, and we can talk in private.” She got out and shut the front car door and got in the back. I mentally shrugged and got in the back with her.

“What has happened? Have you guys split up? Jase is in a funk and won’t say anything.”

“I think he dumped me.”

“Why?”

“Because something awful happened to me yesterday and I was trying to be honest with Jase and I told him about people I had sex with that he didn’t know about. He didn’t like it and just basically said he needed to think and walked off, not even a kiss.”

“What awful thing Natalie, can you tell me?”

I told her the gist of my experience with Pete and Celia. She looked at me aghast, turned and hugged me, “Oh baby girl that is awful, you are way too young to deal with that and Jason has no idea how to process that kind of information.”

“I know. Mum said it is the tablet’s fault and she is going to probably talk to you and stop them, but it isn’t, it was just me, not realising what I was getting myself into. I told it all to Jase and about a couple of other people I had sex with that he didn’t know about , and it was all too much for him.”

“Oh. I see.”

“You know what it is like, it is not that I want sex all the time or even think about sex, I don’t, it is just that sometimes I am in a position where sex becomes an option and my body just says ‘yes.’ You felt that the other day with me.”

“Yes. I think it is difficult for men to understand how different it is for us women.”

“I know and I can’t explain it to him because I don’t have the words and he isn’t a woman.”

“I understand Natalie.” She turned around slightly and hugged me to her and that felt really good.

“I end up having sex with every one of my girlfriends, you know from school, it is not planned, we just hang out together, and it happens, and all of my girlfriends are straight, or are when they are not with me.”

“I know exactly how they feel Natalie,” Anne said quietly.

“Yes,” and then I realised what she had said, “oh, sorry, it is happening again isn’t it, sorry. I don’t mean it to.”

“I know that you don’t, and it is very difficult to resist.”

“You don’t have to resist,” I said softly, wondering where my inner voice came from.

She looked at me and hugged me tighter and I felt wonderful, it was as if the events of the day before had dissolved and gone away. I found my hand on her right breast, and I squeezed.

“Oh God, Natalie,” she murmured and her head dipped to me and she kissed me. “Oh God, I mean, I shouldn’t.”

“But,” I whispered, “we both want to,” and my hand dropped to her leg and slid up her thigh to her crotch.

There really was no room in the car, the backseat was cramped. Anne pulled away and said, “let’s go into that field, no one will see us behind the stone wall.”

“Okay” I said. You might think that breaking off and getting out would allow our senses to reset, but no, I just wanted her even more. We quickly climbed the stile into the fied and ducked down, resting on the longish grass at the fields edge.

Anne took my face in her hands and kissed me, softly, gently, her lips moist sliding over mine, my tongue wet and seeking hers pressed between her purse.

“Oh dear Lord,” she gasped and pushed me down onto my back, her hand at my knee, working up my thigh to my sex.

I reached down and pulled at my panties, eager to get them off, to give her free access, this was something I needed, sex with someone who cared, sex where I could get up and walk away if I wanted. I did not want.

I think I climaxed as soon as Anne’s fingers found their way into my valley seeking out my entrance, circling and then pressing in, her fingers opening, scissoring, teasing at my wrinkle, her palm flat squashing open my lips, the heel of her palm pressing my clitoris.

I exploded, my cries of joy echoing around the field as Anne gave me what was so lacking the day before.

We lay there, arm in arm, panties off and dress and skirt rucked up, the warm summer breeze toying with our fannies, our desires sated.

“What next?” I asked, “where do I go from here?”

“I will talk to Jase and to your mum. Sex should be like this, caring and free, not forced like those stupid idiots in your street forced upon you.”

“I love it when it is like this, and this is how Jase and I used to be, until I ruined it all.”

“Oh, you didn’t ruin it, you are both so young, it will be fine, honestly.”

“I have to tell you something that you might not like.”

“Oh? I promise I won’t storm off like Jason did.”

“You know the day that you took Jase to Tesco and arranged for Mike to shag me?”

“Yes.”

“Well he called round to my house the next day.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, we sort of shagged, I did a lot of sucking, but then I sent him away and told him to go and make love to his wife.”

“Oh boy, and did he ever. I did wonder what had bought about the change in him. I am not cross with you, you sent him away, but Mike? Really? He shouldn’t have come to you without me knowing.”

“I think he was confused, I don’t think he knew where to turn. You obviously know he has been getting Jase to shag him in the bottom?” I knew she knew, but I didn’t want her to know that I knew that she knew, I had to try and protect some of Jase’s supposed secrets.

“Yes, I know, how does Jason feel about that, he told me he was okay with it.”

“That is also what he said to me. He said it was no different really to shagging you. It is what happens in your house.”

“Yes, it is, and I understand in yours, and what we have just done is lovely, and I don’t think that there is anything wrong with it.”

“If only we could keep it that way.”

“We can. I will talk to Rachel and to Jason. Now, let’s get you home.”